Why I locked down my emotions
for most of my life, I didn’t know.
Was it because they’re messy beasts
with poor hygiene, splattering
their flammable, caustic juices all over me
and those in my proximity?
These scars and this stiff, charred heart
are forever reminders
of their misadventures.
Or maybe I was just afraid of them
because they look so muchlike the guy I once was,
for so short a time.
A time when they ran free,
and I was an abetting joy-rider.
Life got dark when I put them away.
My recent fitting for a grave convinced me
to spring them before it was too late.
It was you saw me trying to dig them out
with a teaspoon and recognized that desperate
mission. You pressed your key into my hand.
Funny, these emotions have gotten older, too.
Their eyes watered in this bright new light.
sad and tortured ...great writing thank you
ReplyDeleteYou're on another roll.
ReplyDeleteNice one. I especially like 'you pressed your key into my hand.'
No poetry today but go look at my new shoe shelf (my blog)!!
So desperately sad, yet I've been in the same shoes too...buried my emotions until I didn't know what it was I was feeling any more. Those last lines hold a lot of hope for the future (and the now) Lovely to see you on a roll...great writing, Joe *hugs* xo
ReplyDeleteAn intense probing of self where one realizes that the true fulfillment comes only through the liberation of our thoughts and emotions. It never helps to suppress them. Beautiful poem.
ReplyDeleteThis moves beautifully. Gorgeous work.
ReplyDeletethe last line is a clencher - nice work as always, Joe.
ReplyDeleteA terribly sad, utterly great poem with a happy ending!
ReplyDeleteI was transfixed from start to finish, loved it!
When I feel something like this, its like my soul is shrinkwrapped in plastic...
Keep walking into the light, sunglasses are the answer :-)
do enjoy the life you put into this piece...try a shovel next time
ReplyDeleteThese are my favorite sections, Joe:
ReplyDelete"they’re messy beasts
with poor hygiene, splattering
their flammable, caustic juices all over me"
"It was you saw me trying to dig them out
with a teaspoon"
This resonates with me at the moment as I feel this very way right now. Haven't buried emotions in such a long time, and now I find myself doing it again, rather than just saying what I feel I need to say. I don't even have a spoon to dig with. Great pen, Joe.
ReplyDeleteKellie
http://magicinthebackyard.wordpress.com/2011/11/22/hard-cider/
Oh my, love the last line, driving it all home. those emotions always manage to wiggle their way out, one way or another.
ReplyDeletei so can feel you in this joe..for years i tried hard to lock my emotions away..because i thought they're highly dangerous..has sth. to do with my past...but really, really could feel this crawl under my skin..
ReplyDelete"...Funny, these emotions have gotten older, too.
ReplyDeleteTheir eyes watered in this bright new light."
As you frequently do, you have touched on something I can understand well--changes we go through as we age, the emotions we lock away, or at the very least throw in the closet and forget about for awhile. Well penned, Joe.
I identified with this all the way.
ReplyDeleteyou know, i think there is a happy turn at the end of this one joe, the being given the key to once more unlock...and i like that..digging with a spoon is a nice touch..
ReplyDelete"My recent fitting for a grave convinced me"...wow!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great read and a nice hopeful ending.
Excellent piece Joe. Many of the thoughts resonate with me, the second stanza especially. Thanks for sharing with us all. Really appreciate the read
ReplyDeleteI love it...from the messy beasts to turning the key to bring them out are meaningful images. And I am not one to hide them before the fitting for the grave either ~
ReplyDeleteSometimes, friends can save us from ourselves : )
ReplyDeleteI especially loved this last part:
"Funny, these emotions have gotten older, too.
Their eyes watered in this bright new light."
Gorgeous...
-Eva
Fantastic images! This one is right up my metaphoric alley!
ReplyDelete"messy beasts with poor hygiene" great line!
ReplyDeleteA moving write with great images....the last line just perfect.
ReplyDeleteI read the comments and feel such joy for you that you have a chance to fully experience emotions. I often wish I could lock mine away but I'm glad that they show in my written words, color my face, and dampen my pillow. I can't vocalize emotions but I can express them.
ReplyDelete"recent fitting for the grave" So very glad that appointment was canceled.
I just got off work and figured the first poem needed to be the one by the host of the evening. I made the right choice.
Excellent
a good poem of 'coming to know thyself'
ReplyDeletesome never do; and do we always Really get to know ourselves? maybe just approximations.
many of us travel roads similar, some longer, some never leave.
happy ending.
nice piece.
Life got dark when I put them away.
ReplyDeleteMy recent fitting for a grave convinced me
to spring them before it was too late.
The poem turns on this, I think. Death defining who we are, who we are not. There's much here I see in myself.
Glad you accepted the key, Joe...we all have those periods of locking our emotions away..but some kind, loving soul sometimes saves us from ourselves. A brave and lovely write!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a brave poem by a gentle man. Sometimes we need to lock things away to survive, to cope ... but even when we lock them away and we don't see them, they continue to be there and they affect us every day. It will be triggered every now and then on an unconscious level. The tangibility of the key pressed in your hand ... the privilege of the angel before you. In my case, I unlocked them (those memories, those feelings) and lost the key. Sometimes I am desperate for that key, but can't find it any more. So it has been flooding, but the growth has been unbelievable, and I am grateful for the journey of healing.
ReplyDeleteIts moving... I could relate to it a lot.
ReplyDeleteShashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-sighs.html
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay
symptomatic of manhood and innocence lost - relate...sheesh i could have written i...only not as well and probably with somekind of ridiculously exagerrated horror observance - lol.
ReplyDeletea perfect condensation of thought and feeling
sometimes we feel less likely to be damaged or hurt if we just hide away our emotions...but you're right, life gets dark when we do this; so glad for the hopefully ending :) Very moving piece!
ReplyDeletesome nice lines in this, Joe. i like especially the description of emotions as "messy beasts/ with poor hygiene..." what an amazing characterization! this one definitely has a sense of hope at the end, a good touch.
ReplyDeleteDesperately dirty are the emotions of the heart - if only emotions came with a health warning "use them at your peril" but then emotions, really, are who you are and who would you be, without you ? Nice write Joe :)
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I know what it is about you Joe that makes me like you. Part of it has something to do with the way you express yourself through your poetry. You are a story teller and a weaver of tales about feelings and, yes, emotions. You make your poems special.
ReplyDeleteGood to be doing 'business' with you, my friend.